no Billy Goat, no Bambino...what's our curse?

As a lifelong Toronto Maple Leafs fan, I have almost certainly described the Buds in every way imaginable. Whether praising them as the greatest, or calling them a bunch of lazy assholes when their penalty kill fails (which I seem to be doing more often as of late), I, like thousands of other Leaf fans, call them the works.

But I never thought I'd have to call them losers.

Not losers in the literal sense...because let's face it, they are losers in every literal sense of the word.

But this is more like the loser you knew in high school: the one who thought his shit didn't stink, who was the coolest guy in school...until he decided to throw a party, and nobody came. The loser who acted like everybody was his best friend, everybody loved him, when in fact almost nobody did.

That's our Leafs!

The new ad campaign for the Leafs this year has focused on the phrase "Spirit Is Everything," trying to capture the spirit and tradition of the Leafs to attract apparently the few millions the Leafs haven't already managed to suck out of a struggling city. But apparently the GTA, or even Ontario, is not enough, as these TV, radio and even sidewalk(!) ads have been broadcast across the country...declaring the Leafs as Canada's team. Oh, Taxi 2, I had such high hopes for you...what's Taxi 1 been up to lately?

Now, while it is true that up until NHL expansion in 1967, when Canada only had the Leafs or the Montreal Canadiens, a good chunk of Canada were behind the Leafs; anyone west of Ontario, or just against French Canadians, were virtually an automatic Leafs fan. But now in an era when Canada has had 8 total teams in five provinces play across this great land, the fact that the Leafs consider themselves so loved, when they are basically the exact opposite, is almost laughable.

(And while it shouldn't be rocket science that non-Ontarians obviously don't bleed blue and white, I got to learn firsthand through my website Colberta.com this past fall just how much the rest of Canada hates our Leafs - in fact, I got more hate mail from Albertans over the fact I support Leafs Nation than over the actual concept of me orchestrating a takeover of Alberta by Stephen Colbert!)

Is this some sort of desperate ploy by the Leafs, to try and expand their fanbase into hostile territory? Are they so strapped for cash (they're not) that they need to look beyond the Greater Toronto Area for some affection? Is their ownership so desperate for attention (they are) that they actually need to advertise the most impossible ticket in town up and down Yonge Street?

You are pouting to a city very upset with you, Maple Leaf Sports & Ent Ltd. Inc. whatever whatever...first you run our team into the ground, still manage to raise ticket prices to even higher astronomical levels, trade away our next two first rounders for WHO?, and now have the audacity to waste more money advertising to a market that clearly despises us - we declare ourselves Hockeytown for decades, and Brian Burke even today declared T.O. the "centre of the hockey universe."

So why wouldn't a family from Kenora want to make the trip and plunk down $2000 to stay in a downtown hotel, pay our now $15-per-ride subway, and watch Vesa Toskala pull another muscle joint?

Quit the bullshit, Leafs - stick to organizing your hockey team first, then worry about your P.R. Because no spin doctor in the universe will be able to justify year after year of losing (and not failing to win the Cup - I mean LOSING) before heads start to roll at MLSE.

We know you thought you were cool, we really do...but as you can see, nobody's interested.

For us Torontonians, spirit is nothing - RESULTS are everything.

ich bin ein jackass

BERLIN – Irish rockers U2 returned to Berlin for a free mini-concert Thursday in front of the Brandenburg Gate, playing its classic singles and a duet with Jay-Z even as the show was obscured from public view by a nearly 6-1/2-foot (two-meter) high metal barrier.

Performing in front of the wall symbolizing over 50 years of brutal communist oppression, on its anniversary of collapsing...by performing to a crowd gated within a 6 1/2 foot...WALL.

Nice work, dumbasses.

I'd rather go naked...than watch Glenn Beck.

Long time, I know...but this struck me early today:

Glenn Beck, PETA President Join Together To Rip Al Gore

Yes, that was not a typo...I'm super cereal.

But what the big piss-off here is not so much in the fact that Glenn Beck is upset again...by this point, unless he starts crying during a show, do we really care?

No, the problem here is really Ingrid Newkirk, who, although she has had her share of good and bad press over the years, managed to drive a major divisive stake in the environmental movement by stating that Gore "can give in your SUV. You can trade it away. You can change your lightbulbs, these are the things he suggests. You can shower with a friend, but it's still not enough if you continue to eat meat.."

In an age where we are only now managing to convince most people to flick off light switches or their televisions before they leave for work for the day, or to even at least consider a blue bin before tossing their pop cans in the trash, we cannot have those who obviously do so much for the environment to stand atop their pedestals and criticize those who don't meet their level of an "acceptable" lifestyle.

Thanks to folks like Al Gore, we are finally at a point in Western history where the mass population is seriously thinking about climate change, and most people are willing to do something about it. And while we all can't be as delightfully involved as Ingrid Newkirk (50 bucks says she drives a guzzler to her anti-abuse rallies, no doubt), even these baby steps, on a large scale, have a significant impact.

Should all people strive to do as much as Ingrid Newkirk? Perhaps. But should we be criticized (and let's face it, she's not just criticizing Gore here) for not being as devoted as someone of her stature, in her position? Do you think her wunderkinds like Pamela Anderson or Alec Baldwin really fly coach when they travel...or do they take gas-guzzling private jets? Since when did this become a enviro-vegan pissing contest?

So thanks, Ingrid...not only do you spout this babble-bullshit, but you do it on Glenn Beck. Give him a platform while trying to push your platforms (which by the way Beck completely disagrees with, sans the Gore-bashing). This is about personal choice on a case-by-case basis, about wanting to help the environment. This is not all-or-nothing, and people aren't "babies" for not taking one side 100% over the other.

And speaking of, what was your ride to said Glenn Beck show in New York? Because unless it was Ed Begley Jr., I'm sure it "wasn't enough"...

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/03/glenn-beck-peta-president_n_344543.html